Perfectly imperfect: overcoming expectations of motherhood

12 years ago, I was there too.

Rushing around trying to fit in all the things with two under 5's whilst working in a demanding job.

So many of us working mothers are exhausted, restless and confused that our (pre-kids) vision of what our life would be like as a mother, bears absolutely no resemblance to reality.

After all, we're generally older than previous generations of first-time mums. We've had the chance to get a good education, find our dream job, travel the world and have lots of adventures. We've found a partner, got the house and car, all sorted.

We're strong, capable, smart women. How hard can it be to look after a couple of sprogs? Bring it on!

By the time I'd got to the ripe old age of 34, I'd met my husband and was totally ready to look after some small people. After all, I'd nannied for my cousin's two kids when I was only 17 and that was easy peasy. It was going be a breeze!

I would knit beautiful baby clothes, sew stylish nursery decorations, bake wholesome no-sugar applesauce cakes.

I would teach my kids how to cook! We'd make towering structures out of loo roll tubes and egg boxes! It was going to be amazing!

My life would be filled with only natural cleaning products, organic vegetables, washable nappies. I would be SO in tune with the planet!

Of course I would ping back into my jeans soon after the birth, and would NEVER resort to eating fish fingers off the kid's plates for my (ahem, second) dinner...
And I'd do this all at the same time!!!

Hahahahaha.

Some of those things happened. Every now and then.

But most didn't. At least not in a consistent fashion, anyway. More of a 'throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what stuck' exercise.

I mourned the loss of the Earth Mama I thought I'd be. And had to learn to accept my mothering style as uniquely mine.

The biggest thing we have to change when we have kids?

Our own expectations.

Nobody else's. Just our own.

And once we're okay with that, we can let ourselves be the mum who buys the Colin the Caterpillar birthday cake, saves every strange craft effort in the 'special drawer' (the bin), and eats the flippin' fish fingers.

With ketchup. And mayo.